Today I had another of the three monthly injections and arranged an appointment for the next PSA blood sample.
The last trip to hospital for the X-Rays went better than the first time. Partly I suppose that knowing what to expect but in part because this time the dye injection went without a hiccup. On the previous occasion there was a problem getting the needle to deliver the dye into the right place and it had to be repeated in the other elbow joint. The big difference this time was that I managed to get through the one-hour X-Ray without needing to pass water.
That was a concern as my early symptoms have returned, at least insofar as bladder issues go. It seems that as my PSA has gone back up the original symptoms are returning. It seems logical.
What this means is that my nights are much disturbed again. Sometimes I wake every hour on the hour. It adds up to being quite wearing leaving me tired for the day. It also makes travel more problematic. As long as I can plan longer journeys, I can limit my liquid intake beforehand and thereby avoid the discomfort to a degree. I still find that I need to stop quite frequently and that plotting public toilets is now a part of my travel routine.
I've learned that popping a pain-killer when needed is not the way to deal with the background discomfort, that the correct procedure is to take the pills routinely, so that I'm sort of topped-up. As I've found, when the pain control wears off in the night taking a pill then means that it takes a few hours for the effects to kick-in.
With this in mind my doctor has prescribed Brufen Retard. It's not for those with a cretinous disposition but a slow release, eight times strength version of Ibuprofen. I stick to my double strength Ibuprofen during the day and take the Retard before bed time. It does the trick but the pharmacist was a bit concerned when I bought my usual box of 96 double strength pills at the same time. Ibuprofen can damage the stomach lining leading to ulcers. There's a treatment that can be prescribed to coat the stomach but as I don't seem to be suffering any side-effects I'm holding off adding to the growing daily medication.
Talking of pills; as I've mentioned, my heightened PSA has resulted in me taking the pill form of the hormone suppressor daily to boost the injections. This seems to have increased the severity of the hot flushes with the addition of a precursor wave of what I can best describe as queasiness. At least it gives me bit of a warning that I'm about to begin perspiring like (fill in your preferred simile here - my favourite is very un-PC) .
My next oncology appointment is scheduled for 11th November. The PSA blood sample will have been taken and the results known by that date. As I've not heard anything about the full-bone X-Ray so far, I'm assuming that I'll hear the results of that on the 11th too. I'm working on the principal that as the results would have been available twenty-four hours after the X-Ray, if there was anything other than expected, I'd have been told sooner.
So I feel as though my life is one of constant waiting (hence the title of this missive). I'm either waiting for a treatment, an investigation, the results or the next manifestation of the malignancy. We are all to a degree in life's waiting room so I've got no reason to complain or to plead for special treatment.
The main constraint or effect is that I feel unable to plan much beyond a few weeks ahead and each night, the thought of sleep is blighted by the knowledge that within an hour, two at most, I'll be awake and fumbling my way to the bathroom. I'll admit that occasionally this gets me down a little. It's no excuse for self-pity and I'm able to avoid that destructive emotion, it's just tedious and unproductive. Fortunately, it doesn't strike very often, I recognise its onset and can easily get beyond it without resorting to artificial support.
I don't mean this to sound bleak. Reading it over, it does seem so. Be assured that I'm quite content despite the above catalogue of woe.
